Love Is...

 As a kid I always used to read the newspaper...only for the comic strips :) One of which was "Love Is" by Kim Casali (I still do read comic strips, but now the newspaper has replaced "Love Is" with "The Better Half" which is good too). It still remains a favourite because I could see the live example of it in my parents. For me they signify what love truly is and if you think its all about red roses and chocolates, well...you are either a teenager or you are new to Earth. Well today is Valentine's day and as expected its all over the newspapers, SMS's, WhatsApp, FB, all over the world in bold capital letters. You wonder if there is so much of love around the world why do we hear of increase in divorce cases every year, to the level that there is a new family court being built in Mumbai to deal with the additional load.
Today morning I was reading this piece in Mumbai Mirror on couples who are still together and going strong after 40-50 years of marriage and all they initially knew about each other was either the name or a picture. In an era where people split because the wife doesn't cook well, these are heart warming love stories. But what we today concentrate mostly on is the "Happily Ever After". Between every "Once upon a time" and "Happily Ever After" there is "a life full of problems" which somehow none of the movies or novels will tell you or prepare you to deal with. Today at the onset of the first problem, you see people ready to escape from a relationship. We are turning into a generation full of escapists who are ok with running rather than fixing. I am lucky to have parents who lead by example and here are some things they have thought me over the years unknowingly:

Love is... A red rose
Its a red rose but with the thorns. To feel the beauty of the petals you need to pick up the rose and there will be at least one thorn (from the many) which will prick you at some point of time. The beautiful, mushy love is only 10%. The rest 90% of it is the battle you fight to preserve that beautiful bubble.

Love is...Respect
Respect plays an important role in any relationship. The day you lose respect for your partner, there's nothing really left. Respecting each other's dreams,goals,wishes, choices is loving the person. If your wife wants to pursue higher studies or if your husband wants to stop working and set up his own business, support them. It may be difficult, financially or emotionally but who said love was easy anyways.

Love is...Sometimes Boring
It wont be an adrenaline rushing adventure every day. There will be days which are just normal, no major events, nothing to be happy about, nothing to be sad about. Just days discussing house chores, finances etc. It doesn't mean there's no love. Just smile and embrace the mundane.

Love is...Accepting the other as is
Your partner may change over time, both physically and mentally and you may be one of the reasons for it. Don't compare them with others. Remember, its they who changed your life for better and not Deepika Padukone! Motivate them to have a healthier lifestyle but not at the cost of devaluing them. Make others feel jealous of your partner.

Love is...Fighting

Being different individuals you will surely have fights. I have played an instrumental role in giving running commentary while my parents fought (I loved them while they fought, it was so cute). But difference in opinions can always be resolved with a discussion and what you walk out with after that is an even stronger relationship.

Love is...Being there
Humans are a mess. We can speak, have a language to communicate, but we never do. Sometimes just letting your partner know "I'm there with you" means a lot. It is a lot more than saying "I love you". Physically present or not, this will surely give your partner the courage they need to fight their battles. Also don't let your love fight all the battles alone. Be there for them even if they don't ask for it.

Finally love is "not having to do"  but "wanting to do" something for your partner unconditionally.

May all of you find the person to face "life full of problems" and have a "happily ever after". Happy Valentine's Day!