Well...I am still kind of wondering.. Am I really turning 25 in 2 days!! Going through my mental-checklist just trying to understand...have I really achieved what I wanted to or what I expected to by this age. You need to have an age related checklist, especially in India,especially when you are a girl (no explanations needed, since by the time you are 21 every passerby aunty is worried about your marriage). Happy that most of the items are checked, but somehow the checklist grows in size each day!
I have got many things that I didnt ask for, but they just landed up...good and bad both. Some things that I wished for and achieved, made me happy initially, but eventually I was like "Girl, is THIS what you wanted...Really??" The thing is life doesnt go as per your checklist, its there to be lived, enjoyed and learn. And as kids, teenagers or even adults whatever we plan to have a "GOOD LIFE" never really gives us that good life. After all, do we really have total control over our life plans? So this is what I learnt over the last 25 years (leaving the first 4 years where I was just mumbling something in Tulu or Hindi that made no sense), from my greatest teacher - LIFE.
1) Treasure your childhood- Childhood days are the best thing to happen to anyone. You are pampered, given the maximum attention, reprimanded the least, innocent to the core, you care the least about what the world thinks of you. No hidden agendas in friendships except for "mujhe sabse last out karna" in games. Alas! we all are too busy growing up.
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| Enjoy your childhood before it passes away! |
2) Health is Wealth- We hear this quite often, but just ignore it. Believe me, whoever tells you this, is your true well wisher. Your health is the most precious thing you have and nothing can replace it. So don't let anything (relationships,work, your own goals etc.) take you away from it. You can achieve everything in life if you have health by your side.
3) Your parents may not always be right (but most times they are)- We come from different generations and circumstances and that plays an important role in how we see things. So after a certain age, we disagree with our parents on a lot of things. Its completely normal, but what most of us don't do is discuss viewpoints. We simply disagree and leave. Let parents know your viewpoint and sooner or later they will come around, if you are right.
4)Friends are not permanent- This hurts but it is true. Even our best of friends may move away and in many cases its not intentional. Times, different cities, different ambitions,marriages etc. all have a role to play. But as a true friend what is necessary, is to let your friend know that you will be there around for them always. We all have to grow and moving on and knowing more people is a big part of it.
5) Be Independent- This is especially for all the girls out there. Independence gives you the freedom to do lot many things. Don't trade it for someone else's wishes. And by independence I mean financially, emotionally and mentally. India has a bad notion that its only a man's duty to provide financial security. When we demand equal gender rights then isnt it necessary to even share the responsibilities equally! Also don't wait for someone to plan things for you, its easy to take charge of your own life than waiting for things that may or may not happen. Its good to be selfish at times, if you know you are right and that gives you happiness.
6) Travel- I wish I had known this a little earlier. I have never felt more peaceful and happy than when I am travelling. There are so many experiences attached with travelling, its hard to list them all. People, food, moments...and no photographs can fully do justice to what you have experienced by being a part of those moments. From sleeping on Kolkata airport chairs the whole night to 18 hours jeep drive from Guwahati to Aizawl to rapelling down 350ft....thanks to my trekking team who helped me explore something really wonderful. This has also been possible because of the independence you get when you start earning, so thank you "high-paying-job". Solo travelling is still on my list.
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| Travel as much as you can! |
7) Regretting is useless- You either face or correct the situation or you learn a lesson and never look back. Regrets just keep pulling you back. Turn your regrets to experiences or lessons and there's nothing that can stop you.
8) Money is not happiness- Money can buy you things that may make you happy temporarily but happiness will stay longer if you do what you really like doing, being with the people you like and obviously if you have good health.
9) Marks dont matter/ Never stop learning- Our education system is so fixated on scores that learning takes a backseat. Marks only matter to get you into a college and probably a job, it does not indicate how knowledgeable you are or how well you will do at your workplace. Never stop learning and always be curious to learn more (not limited to education). Ultimately that is what will help you get ahead of others.
10) Help Others- Even small help goes a long way and the smile it brings on your face is priceless. Help others in whatever way you can. We are never as poor or incapable as we think we are.
11) Buy something for your parents with your first salary- Yes you may want to buy a new high end phone for yourself or be tempted to splurge on a hair spa, but believe me there's nothing better than getting something that your parents need from your first salary. The proud smile on their faces is equivalent to a relaxing massage at the spa.
12)Love yourself- Most importantly, love and understand yourself. Learn what you like and dislike, what you are capable and incapable of doing. Dont leave your hobbies, because they are what will truly give you happiness. Its only when we love and respect ourselves that we are able to love and respect someone else. Remember, YOU are all that you have!
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| Love Yourself The Most |
13) Be unique- Stop comparing yourself with others. What is the point of being like Sharmaji's son and Vermaji's daughter. Wouldn't life get boring seeing the same kind of people everywhere. Don't be an engineer or a doctor because your parents want you to (Refer to point 3). Just be you. Its not necessary to follow the herd. I know there's that feeling of being left behind but at the same time, how long will you keep chasing others?
14) Keep honest people close- Your friends will always support you but when you truly want a feedback, go to someone who is straight forward and will slam down your ideas with a single word and support you in very rare cases when your ideas are truly brilliant. Thankfully, I have such people in my life and in a way they are a motivation to do better. Sooner or later you will realise that.
This is what I remember currently, but I know there are lot many things that life has taught me and it will continue to do that.When I look back one thing I am definitely sure about, it has been a beautiful journey so far! Hopefully I will be able to write about the next 25 years the same way :)
