Spare the rod and spoil the child: How true is it?

We have recently come across a number of incidents where schools in the quest of disciplining their students have crossed their limits. From hitting with a cane brutally to humiliating a student, how right are schools in doing so? Is corporal punishment the only way of dealing with mischievous kids?

On February 12, 2010 Rouvanjit Rawla committed suicide by hanging himself, the reason being constant humiliation by his teachers. School memories are something that stays with us throughout our life, whether they are good or bad. School is an institution that we look upon as our second home and teachers are people who are supposed to inspire us and correct us whenever we are wrong. But correcting doesn’t mean a punishment so bad that it drives someone to suicide! Why do schools forget that we all make mistakes and spanking is not the only way of stopping a person from doing them? Good words, good understanding and counseling go a long way in dealing with mischievous kids. Punishing a child will only make him more rebellious and ignorant or in some cases the child may land up in depression which may have severe consequences.

By writing all this I don’t mean to say that schools are to be blamed always, there are situations where kids tend to be beyond control but as grown ups we need to be patient. We weren’t perfect ourselves when we were kids, it’s only with time that we get matured. Teachers need to be more understanding and patient, because kids look up to them as their ideals and we definitely don’t want angry face, always humiliating and punishing role models. I was lucky to have teachers who accepted me as I am and who highlighted my strengths and helped me overcome my weaknesses. Teachers nowadays perceive teaching only as an income providing job and not as a thing they are passionate about and hence a little mistake on the student’s front and teachers lose their patience. The real teachers are the one’s teaching in special schools, where inspite of so many mistakes done by their students, each day, the teachers never give up. After all a good teacher makes a good student.

Lastly, if schools or in that case even parents understand their child’s needs, do not burden him/her with their high expectations and do not subject him to harsh punishments I guess a lot of cases like that of Rouvanjit can be put to an end!

Differences

I’m a true patriot by nature, I love many things about my country and I am proud of being an Indian but being a patriot doesn’t make me blind towards all the bad things that the people of my country support one of them being caste discrimination! How much ever we claim that we are united and we love all religions and respect them, one look at the newspaper headlines and all claims are put to rest! I sometimes wonder had there been no caste at all, life would have been so damn simple, for everyone. I feel that most of ill practices that take place in our society are because caste division exists. Why do we have to follow something that our ancestors just made for showing off their supremacy over others? Isn’t a person’s good character enough to prove that he is a good person? Marriages, reservations, caste discriminations…so many problems can be solved.

Whenever I make friends their caste doesn’t really matter to me, what matters is their nature. Then why should it matter while selecting a life partner? If the reason is adapting to other customs and traditions, I guess if we try, nothing is impossible! When we go abroad obviously we aren’t accustomed to their way of life but within a few days we adapt. When we had gone for our NSS camp in a remote village none of us were accustomed to their kind of living but within a few days everyone started communicating in Marathi instead of English and Hindi, we were habituated to eating dal and pulses everyday, getting up early and sleeping early. Adapting to all kinds of environment is the basic feature that distinguishes man from animals. This can never be a problem; all we require are people with big hearts to accept us which are very rare nowadays!

Then there are HONOUR KILLINGS! I really don’t understand what kind of honour is restored when a mother gets arrested for killing her daughter. Why are we so scared of what other people will tell, what will they think etc. etc. These people will never come to your rescue when you get arrested or you are in trouble then why are we so bothered by their thinking. Why do we forget that the society we speak about consists of us too and unless we change our thinking nothing is really going to change ever. For me there are only two kinds of people Good or Bad, no other divisions exist!

NOT INVITED!!!

            I guess everyone must have had a time when they are extremely tired, bored and just want to jump on their beds when all of a sudden the doorbell rings and here come the unexpected(unwanted) guests. Well… I have experienced this many times and especially during my exams. Just when I want to be all alone and concentrate on my studies I have these distant aunties and uncles(whom I hardly know) entering my room(without permission obviously) and irritating me with questions that I have answered like a million times!!


After they are done with their interrogation, they tell their children “play with didi” (ya right, I got mechanics test tomorrow and you expect me to play hide and seek with your brats!)

My usual conversation with the guests(whom I hardly know), who come without informing beforehand:

Guest: hello, do you remember me beta??

Me: ya aunty…sought of ( meaning: no, not at all, who are you?)

Guest: well…I am your uncle’s brother’s mother’s sister

Me: (Smile...meaning : God save me!)

Guest: You have become so thin, whats wrong? don’t you have your meals properly?(this question irritates me the most!)

Me: (Smile) No aunty, I eat properly( see my everyday menu, u will know)

(My mom will be secretly signaling me to talk more to aunty…why??? )

Me: How is everyone in the family?( since I don’t know the names its better to mention family)

Guest: Everyone are fine…Chintu just gave his board exams and Meena is in 6th grade. They both keep asking about you.

Me: (huh?? Do they know me?? and how come i don't remember meeting them??)

(this is THE END of the conversation, cant talk more. I run to my room and act as if I am busy on the pc to avoid further interaction)

     My mom usually comes to my rescue. I don’t know how she manages such guests. If I were in her place I would simply be irritated. Firstly they come without informing and then they expect a grand lunch/dinner and special treatment, no ways!! At such times I help my mom, because I know how much she needs it! She will make sure everything is done perfectly so that the guests don’t have to complain about anything (they have no right to do so!)

         I have no hatred for guests. In India, we have the tradition of welcoming our guests with warmth and affection. I do follow this to some extent but for doing this I definitely won’t act stupid. When we ourselves are struggling during the month end, I definitely won’t entertain guests(who arrive without informing) with expensive meals and outings. Sorry, it definitely doesn’t work for me. We always make it a point to inform our relatives at least a week before going to their place, so what’s wrong in expecting the same from them? In olden times, it was ok, as there were no telephones, computers etc. but now every house has a phone, so what’s the harm in informing? Lastly try not harassing your hosts with demands, which you know, will be difficult to fulfill. Just be a good guest so that your hosts welcome you happily!

Angels in reality

There are times, when a stranger, whom you are in no way related, helps you in a totally unexpected way without expecting any benefits for himself/herself. I have always heard that when you are in utter need, God sends his angels to help you in little ways. But you tend to believe such things only when it happens to you.


Recently I had read in a newspaper about a married couple who had left a suitcase full of gold ornaments and cash in a cab. The cab driver, as soon as he got to know of this, returned the suitcase with everything intact to the couple. And when the couple tried to reward him for his honesty, he refused. In today’s time, when people can kill for money, here is a man who returns valuables worth money, that he may have never seen in his life! I was deeply impressed by him and I wish he always has passengers in his cab. For the couple he was truly an angel in disguise. There are so many like him, around us, we just fail to recognize them. When I was around 6 yrs I lost my way home, I was in tears when out of nowhere two old ladies appeared and left me near my home lane. I just ran to my home at that moment but forgot to thank them. I never had the opportunity of meeting them again and thanking them, I wish I could. I don’t know where I would have landed, if I didn’t meet them that night. They were surely angels I believe!

We meet many such people in our lives, who do us good without expecting anything in return. In times of crisis(mishaps), in workplace, school, home etc. But we forget to acknowledge them. How selfish can we be! Next time you do meet your angel, just make it a point to atleast thank them lest God will stop sending them in your life!